Something Real
by ElephantShoesx
Summary: Secrets. Everyone has them, most unexpected. While things heat up between Clare and Eli, will they trust each other enough to open up? Fluff, Drama, your regular Degrassi days... Elare FTW
1. Chapter 1

**Alrighties, so this is in 2 parts. First person, but in the views of Eli and Clare. I think you'll get the drift. Please review! Oh, and I don't own Degrassi. But if I did, Eli and Clare would have a bunch of pretty babies. byee!**

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Eli

"Next," the teacher introduced, "is Clare Edwards, reading her piece 'You and He.'"

I shifted in my seat to face Clare. "I didn't get to edit this one," I whispered. She smirked at me, raising a brow and my heart's pace. "Exactly," she said, getting up.

"How did it come to this?" She read. "I was walking with you on cloud nine, or at least that's what I thought. Then came that hole, that rough patch, and I fell right through it. I guess that's why they call it 'falling in love'. You never really expect it, but it happens anyway. You don't think, you just trust.

"Silly me, I suppose." Her voice broke, my heart ached for her. "I looked up," continued Clare, "but you kept walking. I wasn't falling with you. But there he was, waiting for me. Falling with me, falling in love with me, and I with him.

"What happened to those sweet nothings I used to hear? 'Forever,' you would say, but suddenly, 'Forever' had a different ring to it. It had his voice, not yours. How could I not notice? Again, comes our saying—'falling in love.' I found myself in a new world. Not cloud nine, but in a place beautifully, excitingly chaotic. I felt unknowing and lost. Everything was different and unpredictable, but that's what I loved most. And then there was he. He stretched out his hand, beckoning me into this dark world. I felt myself drifting toward him, my fingers pulsing with excitement."

Clare stopped, looked around, and a slight pink painted her cheeks. "He took my hand, and I was immediately under his spell. 'How does it feel to be attracted to death?'" She paused once more. "To be continued." She sighed triumphantly, gracing us with her smile.

"Nice work, Clare. You're dancing on the borderline to your vampire sagas; watch out."

As if on cue, the bell rang, freeing us to lunch. "And the inspiration for that was…." I directed my hands toward Clare, letting her finish my sentence. "Life," she smiled. "Well then, I like your life. It's beautiful."

Clare clutched her binder and looked down. "Right now, it really is." I stopped walking, taking a second to look at her. "What?" she questioned, adjusted her bag. "You just make me wonder." "Is that something I do often?" she asked, tilting her head.

"Yeah," I laughed, knowing how honest I was being, "Quite often." We continued walking, Clare with a slight skip to her step, yet her strides matched mine exactly.

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Clare

The house was cold. It felt empty, almost like everyone had packed up and left me wondering. But it's not like my feelings are far from reality. It's like my mom and dad decided to pack up the meaning of a healthy marriage, quench the fire that was once fueled by love, and walked out of my life. Of course they were still with me, but I'm wondering how they came to be so distant from me and each other.

The sound of clicking heels brought me out of my thoughts. I'd been spending a lot of time there lately. I plastered on that fake smile and looked up at Mom. "Hey, Mom," I waved, going up to my room. No response. I sighed, wishing Darcy were there.

_How did this happen?_ I thought, lying on my bed, my laptop on my stomach._ I used to be happy. People still think I am, but now I'm just… Nothing. I don't really feel anything anymore other than hurt. I'm never disappointed because I guess I learned never to get my hopes up. I don't get excited because I expect the worse. I feel numb and I don't know what to do. I'm scared._

I stared blankly at my desktop, still thinking. Something was blinking in the right hand corner of the screen, so I clicked on it.

**Eli-gold49**: I don't know what you're thinking, but I want to. It doesn't seem fair that you get to make me wonder, but I probably never cross your mind.

**Clare-e23**: Oh, so you're thinking about me?

It still amazed me how only Eli could make me feel something real.

**Eli-gold49**: More like thinking about your story. How did it come to you?

**Clare-e23**: If I remember correctly, I already told you :P

**Eli-gold49**: There's always more than what you lead on

**Clare-e23**: True, but I guess you'll never know

**Eli-gold49**: For people like us, I guess there really is something worse than a rejected high-five…

**Clare-e23**: Like us?

**Eli-gold49**: Oh, so now you want to know something too. Let's keep it this way. You're in my thoughts, and I'm in yours.

_Eli-gold49 is no longer available_

I smiled, wanting to keep that warm feeling with me. I put my laptop aside, and crossed my arms over my stomach. "Ouch!" I flinched to myself. I forget about that tender spot on my hip.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, guys! thank you so much for putting my story on your alerts/favorites and for you awesome reviewers(: I think I got a little excited and churned out this chapter. Honestly, I might be too happy to see if this chappie is good or not, so honest reviews are appreciated! 3**

**Again, I don't own Degrassi =\ buy it for me for my brithday though! **

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**Clare**

I woke up feeling brave, like I was ready for anything. It seemed like an adventure day, but I didn't feel like trekking up a mountain or anything like that. I felt more… bold. Who knows to what I owed this strange sensation, but I loved it. It was a feeling that wasn't hurtful in any way.

"Still wanna know what I'm thinking?" I asked on the way to school.

"Always." Eli gave me his signature smirk and offered me his arm.

_He has to like me, right?_ I thought to myself. I took his harm with both hands and wrapped the arm nearest to him around his bicep. It was surprisingly very solid. "Admiring my work?" he chuckled noticing my grip.

"Actually, I was in awe of how fine your leather is." _Wow… Nice comeback_, I scold myself. "So, I've been thinking things over, and I want to tell you something, but I don't know how you're going to react." My hold on his arm slipped down to his wrist. I started to chew the nails on my free hand. Suddenly, I felt my hand being pulled down.

"Don't hide," Eli smiled, his green eyes lighting up playfully. "I won't judge you."

I wanted to tell him, but I wasn't sure if it was the right time. Now that he was holding both my hands, I had nothing to distract me. Absentmindedly, I chewed my lip, staring at the numerous bracelets on Eli's wrists. Facing him tightened something in my stomach. It felt like I was being plunged into ice cold water—I was bracing myself. My gaze trailed his entire arm, resting on our joined hands. "Oh," I said finally processing the fact that we were holding hands. "Awkward. Um, I have to go."

I felt bad for being a coward, but maybe my adventurous feeling was for something else. "So I'll see you in English?" Eli called after me. I kept walking, but turned my head to smile at him.

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**Eli**

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," I muttered to myself. _Why did she let go? Normally I feel like we get each other, but lately, it's been like we're on completely different brainwaves. I wonder if she realizes that I really do think about her a lot._ I shrugged it off, and smiled to myself. In no way did it amaze me how Clare was never far from my thoughts. She was a wonderful person to think about, except for when I was slightly annoyed. Not at her—never—but at myself for wondering what she was going to say. I felt my eyebrows knit together, thinking about what she could possible have said.

Up until English, everything was nothing. The only thing that mattered was Clare and what she wanted to say. _Oh no… Is she mad at me? Did I do something wrong?_ Possibilities swarmed my head, leaving me lightheaded and anxious. When English rolled around, I was wreck. _Wait. What if it's not bad? What if she was like, "Oh, Eli. I'm in love with you." Then I'd hug her and never let go…Wait again. Ugh, but that would never happen. This is one of those one sided romancey things you see in movies. Wouldn't our high school careers make a pretty kick ass drama series?_

I heard people start to file into the classroom, and I scanned their faces for that familiar face that I loved so much. I slipped into my seat, trying to calm myself. I heard something rustle behind me, and when I turned, lo and behold, it was Clare. Slowly, I got out of my seat, trying not to look too eager. I wiped my hands on my jeans and shoved one into my pocket.

"Hi," I blurted, giving a lame attempt at a wave. Lifting my head, I caught Clare's eyes. They looked so lost and innocent. "Do you really feel like sitting through one of Ms. Dawes' lectures today?" she asked, life coming back into her face, instantly relieving me. "I've taught you well, grasshopper," I said, tapping her nose and leading her to Morty.

"Do you want to go anywhere today? Or… maybe we can just talk… about what you were going to say earlier today?" I asked once we were safe under Morty's protection.

"I'm sorry, Eli. I shouldn't have done that this morning. I guess I was jumping to something I wasn't ready for."

Being so close to her made me nervous. I felt self conscious and everything in my tightened up. "Do you think we can just… keep that subject on hold for a while? Because I really do want to tell you," she said, hope in those gorgeous orbs of hers. _Oh, Clare, how can you ask so much of me? Don't you know that this is killing me?_ Disappointment must have been evident in my face since Clare got back onto the topic, debating whether or not to tell me. _Please, please tell me._

Once again, I felt like we were on the same brainwave since she said, "Okay, I'll tell you. But promise we'll still be friends? I heard that some people just freak out and—" I held up my pinky, offering my honor in the promise. She locked her pinky with mine and laughed lightly. "I cannot believe that Eli Goldsworthy just made a pinky promise."

"Well believe it," I said. "Those things are the real deal." The tight feeling in my chest made it hard to keep my sarcastic self in check.

"Alright so… Here it is—"

"I love you too," I blurted. "Wait. What? Who said that? Did you get a new haircut? Hey, look at that!" I rushed, hiding my face with both hands. Way to loose it, Genius…

"Eli? What did you say?" Clare said breezily. That's what she was. Clare was a breath of fresh air.

"I said 'elephant shoes'. Yup, that is what I said," I replied, spacing my words awkwardly.

"Okay then… Well, I'd tell you what I was going to say, but the period's over, and I need food. Now." She gave me hug and skipped out. "I promise, I'll tell you later," she said, holding the door. "But not at lunch."

As soon as she closed the door, I locked up the car. I was now safe to scream and curse myself out. By the time my little tantrum was over, I was tired out, and my head hurt. Resting my head against the steering wheel, I thought about what to do next time around Clare.

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Clare**

_Where is he?_ I thought as I scanned the cafeteria for Eli. _Well, since he's not around… What did he say earlier? It sounded a lot like… Oh, never mind; why would he say that? And "elephant shoes" sounds awfully close to it… _Not finding Alli either, I went straight for Adam.

"Have you seen Eli?"

"Don't you have the period before lunch with him?" he asked with a mouth full of salad. Remembering my hunger, I dug out the sandwich I brought from home.

"Yeah, but we separated for a little, and we were supposed to meet here." Adam looked too focused on his tray of food to even have heard what I said. I checked Eli's locker, texted and called him, but nothing. Finally, I went out to Morty. There were some creeps leaning against the fence, eyeing me strangely, so I hoped to make this mission quick. I peeked inside the window to the driver's seat, relaxing when I found Eli slumped over the wheel, asleep. _You can't get cuter than that._

Lightly, I tapped the window, hoping to wake him up. I didn't really want to disturb him, but let's face it. I was selfish and wanted me some Eli.

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**I could go for some Eli too (; haha**

**Don't forget to review, lovies! **

**Follow me on twitter? (- tralalaXTINA)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, guys! It's been a couple days. I'm sick): And since I didn't get to go to church today, I figured I'd write a little something. I hope you like it(:**

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**Eli**

_**Tap, tap, tap**__. What is that? Someone's laughing._ _It reminds me of marshmallows and stuffed elephants, music even, the kind of stuff that I like. __**Tap, tap, tap. **__More laughing… _It made me smile thinking about that gentle chuckle I was hearing.

"Eli, wake up, sunshine."

_Someone's calling me…_ I opened my eyes to see Clare's shining face. _And she calls _me _"sunshine"… _She was one of the best things that I've ever woken up to. I checked my watch. It was 12:45. _Oh, man… I forgot about Clare. How is that possible?_ I felt terrible. I jolted up and got out of the car.

"Hey there," I said, smirking to cover my embarrassment. I rubbed the back of my head to distract me. She gave me a toothy smile and swept my now messed up hair out of my eyes. She gave me a big smile and blinked a few times. _Damn, she's cute. _She reached for my tie, and a rush of emotions filled my stomach. I just wanted to take her into my arms and hold her.

"You're tie bothers me. It's lopsided and looks… slept on?" she said. She adjusted my tie, making sure not to make it tight, just the way I liked it. "Speaking of sleeping," she began, mock attitude filling her words, "I thought we had plans."

That did the trick. I felt sick, I let her down. I hope she's not mad. "God, Clare. I'm so sorry." I kept looking at my watch, spazzing out, not really knowing how to react. "Well that was weird," she chuckled. "I never thought you were one to spaz. But it's fine, let's eat out here." She rest her back on Morty's window and slid down to the ground. _Well… That didn't turn me on at all…_I rubbed my sweaty palms together then against my jeans before I sat beside her.

She was already holding a perfectly wrapped sandwich. It was cut diagonally into two triangles. _That is just like her. Everything has to be perfect with her. Now if only I were... Then she'd take me._ She nibbled on the corner, telling me about her lonely lunch period between bites. We still had about fifteen minutes together. I watched as her pink lips slowly parted, allowing entrance for her sandwich. She licked her lips lightly, chewed, and swallowed. I wanted to be that sandwich. Yes, I- Elijah Goldsworthy- was jealous of a ham sandwich.

Clare rested her head on my shoulder, adding to the intensity of my feelings. Everything was quiet for a little before she started speaking again. It felt like the perfect time to reach for her hand, but of course, she was holding the other half of her sandwich. _Damn the ham._ "Eli," she said my name as more of a question. I've never loved my name more than I did when she spoke it. "Do you ever get that feeling like someone's watching you?"

"Me? All the time. Girls tend to fawn over me when I walk down the hall." I turned to smirk at her. _Triumph! I think I'm getting better at this whole power over emotions thing._ She lifted her head off my shoulder and lightly pushed me. "Yes, Gum Drop, because everyone likes to be shoved by their lovers."

"Excuse me? Lovers?" Clare asked. I could see the playful excitement in her eyes.

"Well, you see, we already ditch school to spend time together, eat lunch together, and have pet names. We might as well be a couple." I shrugged nonchalantly, careful not to make too deep of eye contact. I could be captivated by her eyes for who knows how long. "Most definitely, _Dear_," she laughed, eating her sandwich again. I wanted to have my apple, but watching her was way better. "But," Clare said, her mouth half full of meat and bread, "maybe you could shoo those guys off first?"

Clare pointed toward the wall by the school. Fitz and Owen were leaning against the wall, the former staring intently at Clare. "So, when you asked if I felt like people ever watched me, you were talking about Fitz creeping you?"

"Not only him," was her reply. I felt my jealousy rise. "I was also talking about you creeping me. Don't think I don't notice you staring," she said smugly. _Well, this is a first,_ I thought as I felt my cheeks heat up. "Aw, Eli! You're _pink_!" She poked my cheeks, which only made my smile break out. "I was kidding, Eli," she said, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head on my shoulder. _Funny you should say that…_ I noticed Fitz tense up, his eyes never leaving Clare. "You're quite comfortable, sunshine."

"I know."

**Clare**

_I wish I knew when he's being serious. Why can't he be normal? But then again… his oddness adds to his intense charm._ I didn't know if he was okay with me holding him like this, but I couldn't be happier. "So you missed an announcement at lunch. You know, that _whole_ period that we were supposed to spend together." I released my grip on his waist. I felt his expression change.

"Oh, is that so? I'm sorry about your separation anxiety, Love Dove." Eli put his arm around my shoulder. I suddenly felt safe, like Fitz's glares didn't matter. "Yes, yes, I missed you and all that. Fluff, fluff, fluff. _Anyway_, there's a dance coming up…"

"Hm, sounds like you're asking me. Isn't the guy supposed to make the first move?"

"What move?" I asked, challenging him.

"Sounded like you were going to ask me," he smiled. I caught sight of the tiny gap between his teeth that I loved so much. I just wanted to reach up and kiss him right then and there… But then he would give me hell about making the first move—again.

"For all you know, I could just be bringing it up."

"Okay," he shrugged, putting his hands up. "I don't like swimming."

_The heck?_ "What does that have to do with anything?" He confused me so much. I never knew what was coming next.

"How do you know I wasn't just bringing it up?" He put air quotes around "just bringing it up".

"Okay, fine," I growled under my breath. "Eli, would you be my escort to the dance?"

"Oh, Clare," he said in a feminine voice. "I thought you would never ask," he finished in his normal way. I made a fist and thrust it into the air, giving a little "Woo." _Wow, Clare. Could you get any cornier?_

"But…"

_But? No. There are no buts. Nope._

"That's not really how I roll," he said. "I'm going to do this the right way."

"The right way?"

"I'm gonna ask you to the dance. Unless—which I think you would have mentioned—this is a ladies' choice event." He put one hand over the other on his lap.

"Okay," I dragged out. "So ask away." I closed my eyes and took a breath, adjusting myself. I opened my eyes, letting him know I was ready.

"Pushy, pushy," He chuckled. "I'll ask when the time is right. You're not supposed to expect this."

"Oh, please, Eli. Romantic is so not you're style. You're just doing this to torture me with the wait." I rolled my eyes at him, but I couldn't help but grin back at him.

"So… you think I'm romantic?" He patted his chest haughtily and flicked his blazer collar. He had something up his sleeve.

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**Alrighties, So I know I got a little OOC, but this is a fanfic(: I can do whatever I want. I could make Clare and Eli have a bunch of baby dinosaurs! They could be like Jon and Kate Plus 8, except their names are Clare and Eli, and they get along, and they'll probably only have 4 dinosaurs :3**

**Reviews, please! You know what? I'm sick, so I'm not allowed to be pleasant. So 5 reviews= chapter 4. If I get 10, then I'll put up 4 And 5 because I already have them drafted and such.**

**Tweet me! tralalaXTINA**

**I guess I'll make a shoutout to those wonderful people who review'd(:**

**-Princesakarlita411**

**-IcyScorpio**

**-Ninjacat5**

**-Queen of Caspian's Heart**

**-dookie69**

**-xXEliLoverXx**

**-MadamoiselleRavenn**

**You guys rock(:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Heyyy! I got 5 reviews, so here's chapter four! I got the reviews a while ago, but I had to completely re-write this chapter. I thought I had a draft, but I must have been high off life or something when I wrote that out... But at least this chappie is up(: **

**Enjoy?**

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**Clare**

"Thanks for letting me come over, Alli. I miss Our Time," I said as I climbed out of Sav's car. There was so much I needed to tell her. In girl world, one day is like a year's worth of gossip, so we had 14 years worth of gossip to cover. "I'm surprised you even asked. You know how we are. You could have just gotten into the car and we would take you back with us." I smiled, happy that the Bhandaris were a second family to me. I looked up at Sav, who just smiled and nodded in agreement.

After dropping our stuff in Alli's room, we went for the refrigerator. Hey, it's a girl day, so that means food, gossip, food, weird dancing, and social network stalking. Arms loaded with chips, cookies, and sodas, we made the trek to Alli's room. Once there, we dropped everything on her bed and collapsed on the floor.

"Okay, so boy talk," Alli said mischievously. Normally, I'd press to do homework first, but school came second to Eli for sure. _I think I'm actually starting to become "normal."_ "But me first," she said. She clasped her hands together and I braced myself for an intense speech about how amazing Drew was. Pure admiration oozed from her words, and you could tell that Alli was completely star struck. Her eyes widened and looked almost glazed, a goofy grin was plastered on her face, and anyone who knew Alli would know that she would never let herself take that appearance while she was in her right mind.

"And there's a bonus," she sighed, "He's on the football team, so I get to go with him to all the banquets and parties. So ultimately, I'll be _popular_." She lifted herself a little and latched onto my shoulders. "Do you hear that, Clare? _Popular_." She squealed and did a mini victory dance. "Now it's your turn. Tell. Me. Ev-er-y-thing." Her face suddenly became serious and she almost stared me down. "Pass me the honey barbecues," I said, collecting my thoughts before regaling her with the story.

"No way," she said, not believing that Eli could be something other than sarcastic. "No way!" She repeated in a higher voice. "We have to go shopping," she breathed. She said it so suddenly that it was impossible not to notice that she had an idea. "What does shopping have to do with Eli asking me to the dance?"

"Do you _want_ to wait for him to ask you? You said it yourself—he's pushing your buttons. We can force him to ask _now_," Alli said as if her plan was the most obvious thing in the world. "I may be smart, Alli, but this topic is relatively new. I never had to deal with this with KC. We just kind of did whatever. Eli is sweet, and I'm starting to see this new side of him. It's kind of… exciting."

"Come _on_, Clare. This can be a back up plan. Plus, you'll be totally hot if you let me doll you up." She smiled widely, and gave me The Look. The Look is something most girls master after a few times a flirting, but I a) wasn't much of a flirter, and b) hadn't the slightest idea on how to make my eyes big and cute.

"Fine," I muttered dejectedly.

"Yay!"

"Wait, Alli. I don't have any money." I was happy that I had an excuse not go through with her plan, but I also found myself a little upset. Looking "hot" sounded kind of appealing.

"Don't worry, boo. I gotchu," Alli said with a fake accent, puckering her lips at the end. She motioned me over to her closet. "Ready?" I nodded, not knowing what was going to happen next, but it wasn't like the excited kind of clueless. It was more like the scared type of clueless. I got that a lot with Alli. She pushed the clothes and hangers apart in the middle and revealed to me a hideous sweater. There were patched of red and pink, brown and green, and unrecognizable colors. The sleeves were different lengths, and the neck hole looked like it could fit two watermelons.

"Voila," she smiled. She made small circles with her wrists as if she were presenting a letter on Wheel of Fortune.

"Um…"

"Okay, now's the real 'voila'." She lifted the sweater from its hook on the wall. Behind the sweater was a zip lock taped to the wall and full of cash. Seriously, only Alli would come up with this. In addition to the odd location, of course, Alli had to make it more dramatic by making a show of using her clothes as curtains.

I gasped at how much there was, surprised that Alli didn't blow all this on clothes for herself. Just thinking of her spending it on me made me feel bad. "That's super nice of you, but you know I can't let you do this." I shook my head for effect. She crossed her arms and shifted her weight to one leg. "Fine, Clare, if you're going to do this for yourself, at least do it for me?"

"How is buying _me_ clothes to impress _my_ crush for _you_?"

"Well, the sooner you get Eli, the sooner we can all go out on a group date. You know how my parents and Sav are about me being alone with a guy." She gave me The Look again.

"Fine, okay! Just stop with the eyes! And, I'm paying you back."

"Happy Birthday, Clare!" Alli said, meaning this was my birthday present.

"Alli, you say that this is for my birthday, which won't be for a while, but we both know that you're going to get me something else anyway."

It didn't take long for Alli to find something flattering for me, but finding matching shoes was a different story altogether. I have wide feet that are around a size 7, but a 7 is too large, and a 6.5 is too small. Alli really wanted me to have an open shoe, like a sandal, so wearing a shoe too large would be obvious. While most girls are excited about getting or just trying on new shoes, finding them was never a happy time for me. But then again, I wasn't like most girls.

When we finally got back from the mall, Alli had bought me a new outfit, new shoes, and new, bolder makeup. There's an unexplainable reason, but when girls go shopping, they—of course—try on the clothes, but when they get home, they try them on again. "Let's see how this look works altogether," Alli said. She couldn't wait to get her hands on my face and hair. _Yay. Excitement. Sarcasm._

"Won't your parents freak out that it's 10 o'clock on a school night, we have no homework done, and that you're not asleep?" I was getting more nervous by the second. I still needed to work on the English assignment, and that took me the longest. It was something I was good at and enjoyed, but making it something worth reading took time.

"It's fine," she assured me. "My parents went on some vacation for quality time or something, so it's just me and Sav, and you if you want to stay over. You still have your things here." She was right. I had a bag of my stuff here in case I needed to stay, and she had some things back at my house too. It seemed like today was a winning day for Alli.

"But what are we going to do about the homework?"

"Easy, we just stay up later. Now let's bring out those bright, blue sapphires of yours."

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Eli**

_I wonder what Clare is doing?_ I walked around to the other side of the counter. Malls weren't really my scene, but I figured that new cologne wouldn't hurt. _Does she ever think about me? It seemed like we were really hitting it off the other day at lunch. I wonder if the CD finished burning yet… Wait._ My ears perked up at the sound of a familiar voice.

"Clare, come on. You need to be open to new things."

I backed up from the counter and towards a rack of clothes.

"Are you sure, Alli?" My heart skipped a beat. It was Clare! I checked my watch. It was almost 9:30. _What is Clare doing crawling through the mall at this hour? And on a school night too? _

"If this doesn't make Eli ask you, then he's a butthead," Alli said. _Butthead? And ask her what?_

"Butthead? Really, Alli? I was thought you were going to say something along the lines of… 'asshole'." She whispered the last part. It was so quiet that I almost fell through the rack while straining to hear it. _She's so cute. Censoring words like "asshole" and whatnot. If she doesn't use cuss words, I wonder what she's like when she gets mad... At least I know that they're talking about me, which meant that Clare had been thinking about me._

"Now listen up, Clare. You like him, and he likes you—" "How would you know?" Clare interrupted. "Sh, just listen. He likes you, so if he doesn't give in, just keep going at it. I swear, you'll look hot as hell, and he'll just get weaker as you try."

_Try what? What are they planning?_

"Excuse me, sir, do you need some help?"

"What?" I asked, dazed. Then I remembered I was leaning on the back of a rack of women's clothing. "Oh, sorry. I was just looking for something_._" Once the sales attendant left, I pushed some of the clothes on the rack aside to see what Clare and Alli were getting. They were standing in the middle of two different departments: lingerie and makeup. My pants suddenly felt a lot tighter around my waist.

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Clare**

"Wow, Alli. I hate to admit it, but my eyes actually look fabulous!" I reached to touch my reflection, hoping it wasn't just a dream. The chill of the glass met my fingertips and I immediately pulled my hand back in shock. Alli used a very dark blue eyeliner near the bottom, outer corner of my eye and on the top and smudged it with some brown liner. For the rest of my lid, she used a pale purple shadow. I never imagined these simple things could make such a difference.

"Don't forget the lip gloss, Clare," Alli warned, waving the tube in my face. "Make sure when you put it on, you tilt your head back just a little, open your mouth—like you're about to kiss him—and close your eyes. Make _sure_ he's watching. You definitely don't want to waste a good gloss moment."

My hands were folded on my lap and I nodded attentively. Alli was getting ready to continue with her lesson on boys; I felt like I should be taking notes.

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**So I've noticed that my chapters aren't very long. I apologize. I'm kinda rusty. I haven't been doing a lot of creative writing in the recent months and such, so... this is all I have to offer.**

**Oh! And sorry for being unpleasant earlier... XD I got so many sweet reviews! Thanks to you awesome people!**

**-ddanieellee**

**-unknown=\**

**-ILoveEliGoldsworthy (I love him too! XD and I followed you on twitter :3)**

**-omgitscasey**

**-Aradiea (thanks times 2 XD)**

**-Princesakarlita411**

**You guys keep me going :D**

**Same dealio, lovers! 5 reviews= new chappie**

**twitter, anyone? tralalaXTINA**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well... This is my third chapter in a day. I must say that I'm feeling rather accomplished(: So there's a lot in this chapter, and I hope I don't let you guys down! If you don't like this chapter, pleaaase stay with me until the next. I'm planning something sweet(:**

**Oh, so this was written yesterday, but not many people have read the previous chapter, so I'm waiting for people to catch up... and I'm kind of waiting to see if more reviews shoot up my inbox haha I'm a selfish loserfish :3**

**So yeah, I don't own Degrassi=\ JT probably wouldn't have died if I did...**

**Enjoy? x3**

**

* * *

Clare**

"No, you lost the sway! Try again," Alli ordered. Looking at the clock, it was almost midnight, and I still didn't do any of my homework. I forced myself up from the floor, using Alli's bed for support. "Can't this wait?" I whined.

"No," she barked. "You're going to need to practice all you can, so at least perfect it first!" I knew she meant well, but I've never seen Alli this worked up over _me_. "Okay…"

I went to the other side of the room and poised myself. One hand placed on my hip, the other swaying gently at my side, I walked towards Alli. _Strut gracefully, not like a duck, Clare. One foot right in front of the other… Think "sexy". Sexy, sexy, sexy Eli. Wait, no. Walk sexily, gosh darn it_

"Good," Alli praised, golf clapping. "Now say it."

"Hey, Eli," I said with a monotone. I was so tired of doing this.

"No, no, no, Clare. Lower your voice." Alli rubbed her chin, putting her entire focus on how I spoke.

Assuming she meant pitch, I converted to my generic "boy" voice and said, "Hey, Eli." I smacked my forehead, feeling stupid for doing this. I may not be a regular teenage girl, but I know normal when I see it, and this wasn't it. Alli laughed and explained that the volume of my voice needed lowering, and I needed to breathe the words out rather than speak them.

"Once more, then I _promise_ we'll start our homework."

_Sexy,_ I thought to myself. _That's the key word._ "Hey, Eli," I said just above a whisper. That was it. I knew I nailed it. I looked at Alli for approval. Her mouth was agape. "Clare, you know that I'm like a million per cent straight, right?"

"Yeah, of course, why?"

Alli laughed in disbelief. "Because I swear, that just made me shiver. Good shiver." She put her arm around me shoulder and hugged me tight. "I always knew I was a good teacher, but to change St. Clare into a seductress? I'm amazing. After homework, would you be willing to run it again? But next time, make it extra smooth."

I nodded in hasty agreement. I knew that if I said no, we'd waste more time. I went toward my pile of clothes to get changed, but the heel of my shoe caught on something, sending me falling to the floor. I landed on my hip and I hissed in pain. It hurt so badly…

**

* * *

**

**Eli**

_Clare looks like her favorite color would be… yellow. Or green. Ah, whatever. I'll use black._ I got out a black CD case and put in the CD I just made. I checked the freezer for the ice. _Not finished yet…_ I rummaged through my drawers to find the duct tape. Once I had it, I wrapped the entire case in it, making sure that there weren't any openings. _Now for the flowers…_

**

* * *

**

**Clare**

"Clare! Are you ok?" Alli asked, rushing over to me. "Yeah," I bit out. "I think I landed on something." I bent awkwardly, picking up a pencil nearby. "I think it was this. The tip might have stabbed me," I lied.

"I'll check," Alli said, her first aid knowledge coming into play.

"No, I got it," I said, forcing myself up again. "I'll be right back." It hurt to walk, and the waist band on my shorts were hurting my hip even more. I hobbled over to the bathroom, where I was finally able to see how bad it was for myself.

I locked the door and slid one side of my shorts off. _Blood._ I looked around the bathroom for bandages or anything that would help cover it up. I pressed some toilet paper to the wound to stop the bleeding. Finding nothing, I wrapped the bloodied paper in a few more sheets before throwing it out. Limping back to Alli's room, I forced myself to stand straight up.

"Uh, do you have a bandage?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure. Sorry about the cut. I should pick up after myself more often." Alli rummaged through one of her desk drawers. I saw several boxes of bandages containing different sizes. She pulled out an average sized one and handed it over, smiling.

"Mm, can I have a bigger one?"

"How bad is it?" Alli asked worriedly. She came up to me and looked me in the face. I wanted to cry. She lifted the hem of my shirt, but I quickly covered my hip. "Clare…" She whispered, moving my hands away. I didn't fight her. There was no point anymore. "Oh, my God, Clare," Alli cried. Tears slipped down both of our faces. She pulled me into a hug to stop my trembling.

"I kinda forgot about dinner, but there's pizza downstairs if you want," Sav popped in. "Oh, tears. Girl problem, not mine…"

**

* * *

**

**Eli**

_I think tonight's a good night to do it. It's been a few days, and she's probably worked up enough,_ I thought as I pulled into the Degrassi parking lot. Alli and Clare seemed to be having an intense discussion on the steps. Clare seemed to be shrugging something off, and randomly smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes like it normally did. Something was wrong, and I could feel it.

**

* * *

**

**Clare**

So Alli found out about my secret. I guess it's sort of a relief to let her know, but I'm not proud of it. I told her everything and even showed how I could plaster on a smile. The smiling thing didn't work too well today because we didn't get much sleep. Through the corner of my eye, I saw a large black blob. I realized it was Morty. Now that definitely woke me up.

"Does he know?" Alli asked, noticing my stares. I looked back up at her, worry etched into every wrinkle of my frowning face. "How could I tell him? He'll think I'm a freak. He… He won't want me anymore."

"Listen, Clare, I'm not going to force you into anything, but if you're going to have a relationship with Eli, you can't keep this from him."

I really thought about what she said. If ever Eli asked me out as in out, and not out as in to the dance, I'd tell him.

"I'll give you your time," Alli said, "I know how happy he makes you." She got up and smiled, her eyes urging me to use everything we went over the night before.

**

* * *

**

**Eli**

_She's wearing new clothes. Is this what she bought at the mall yesterday?_ "Well, good morning, milady," I greeted, offering my hand. She took it, smiling her real smile. My heart beat a little faster and I smiled a little wider that moment all because I just knew that I made her smile.

"Hi, Eli," she said, stroking my arm as I sat down. Goosebumps.

"How's your morning so far?"

Clare's nose wrinkled cutely at the question. "It's been okay; it just got nicer," she said, moving to face me. She looked directly into my eyes and smiled. "I like your pants," she said, got up, and left my more confused than ever.

_Was the flirting? Clare is the only person who can make me feel this stupid. Gotta find Adam._

"Hold up," Adam said as he dealed the cards. "She rubbed your arm while she was talking to you and left after complimenting your pants?"

"Yeah, exactly," I shrugged.

"Okay, so define 'rubbing' your arm. Was it this kind of rubbing," he moved his hand in circles on the table, "or was it more like this?" Adam slowly dragged his hand from one edge of the table to the other.

"That one," I said, meaning the latter. I rubbed my chin, replaying everything from this morning. "Got it," Adam said as he put the cards aside. "She's trying to make you compliment her on what she was wearing. You said her clothes looked new, right? So compliment her, and then leave the same way she did."

"Ohhh," I contemplated. "That actually makes sense. Thanks, dude."

**

* * *

**

**Clare**

"I did it," I said excitedly. "And I didn't stutter or anything."

"Good work, buddy," Alli congratulated. She put her arm around my shoulders as we made our way to the courtyard.

"But what does the arm thing do again? I forgot."

"Oh, it's just physical flirting. It lets him know you're into him, and then when you leave, he'll be thinking about how you seemed interested one minute, then just ditch."

Alli knew so much. I wished that I knew all of that earlier. It was fourth period, the period right before lunch. I decided to skip with Alli for a change. We linked arms and did the monkey walk all the way to the bathroom.

"So when are you gonna make the move?" Alli asked, putting on lip gloss. After almost two years, I'd finally learned how to understand her while she spoke with her mouth partially open like that.

"I was thinking during lunch. Eli never eats in the caf, so he'll most likely be with Morty."

"Who?" Alli questioned.

"Oh, right. That's his car. He fell asleep in it the other day and ditched me." I smiled at the memory of that day.

"Right…" I could tell that she thought it was weird. Alli brought me to the football field to hide under the bleachers where we could talk some more. We had this all planned out. We even brought the rest of the junk food we didn't devour from last night.

**

* * *

**

**Eli**

I looked around for Clare. No one's seen her. English was just about to begin. _Why didn't she tell me that she wanted to skip?_

"Mr. Goldsworthy, do you know where your writing partner is?" Ms. Dawes glared at me like it was my fault that Clare wasn't in class.

"She wasn't feeling well this morning. She's probably in the infirmary." I had to cover for her, or Dawes could've gotten suspicious. I tried to spend the period without turning around to see if Clare had magically appeared, but I admit—I gave in once or twice. As soon as the bell rang, I was out of there. It took all I had not to ask for the restroom pass and never come back.

I made a mad dash to her locker, but she wasn't there. I stayed a few minutes before seeing if she was by Morty. Thank God, she was there waiting for me. She stood quite comfortably against my car. A slight breeze picked up, swirling her curls around her face. The light hit her in an amazing way, picking up the bits of glitter I guessed she put in her hair that morning. After seeing her, I didn't need to see Heaven.

As cliché as that was, I finally understood why people loved things like that. It took your breath away, made you feel something, something unexplainable, but something completely real. Was it the setting? No, it was the person; it was Clare.

I walked up to her, trying to think of only one thing to compliment her. She began walking too, ever so slowly. Her hips swayed softly, and her hand rested on one hip, accentuating her curves. Her legs looked so long and silky. Finally noticing the length of her mini shorts, I gulped, hoping I would calm down before reaching her. I admired every part of her.

"Hey, Eli," she said, almost whispering. She accentuated the two syllables of my name with a flick of her tongue. She smirked, but in a confident way. Her head was tilted slightly downwards and that look in her eyes… It was just… It was incredible. Her angelic look was stressed even more by her flowing, navy blouse. _A tunic, I think?_ A thin belt hung just under her hips, showing a little shape, but her arms were covered by a cropped leather jacket.

I raised an eyebrow at her. I had to think before speaking. "Wow," I said. "That was impressive." It was her turn to raise a brow at me. She flipped her hair off her shoulder and reached up to put her wrist over mine. Looking deeper into her eyes, I could still see confidence, but I found the timidity as well. Did she doubt something? I wonder if she knew how big and cute her eyes were?

"I like your le…. ather jacket." _Nice, Eli. You almost said "legs". _I felt a piece of my hair being twirled. _Is that what she's doing with her wrist over my shoulder?_ I gulped. There was no way I could walk away. I wanted to say something else, but my mind was clouded.

"Are you okay, Eli? You look like you want to tell me something… Or ask me something." She really annunciated the "ls" in my name, "look", "like," and "tell". If I could see myself right now, I would either have my sarcastic mask on, or be wide eyed. "Sorry, Doll," I said, nudging her chin a little with my forefinger. "Not right now," I said, and by some miracle, I was able to smirk without giving my whole smile. I took her by the wrist she had perched on my shoulder and kissed her hand. For once in the four weeks that I knew Clare Edwards, I was glad to get away from her.

_Good, so you can still pull it off tonight. Good work, good work. _I wiped my hands on my jeans—after meeting Fair Clare, this became a habit of mine—and walked, forcing myself not to look back.

**

* * *

**

**Clare**

_What? How? Alli said keep trying. So does that mean right after or at a different time? I thought I did pretty well too…_

"Oh my, God, Clare. That was _amazing_. I couldn't have done it better myself! Did you see Eli's face? He was trying so hard not to kiss you. How does he do that?"

"Do what?"

"How does he 1—not kiss you when you're standing there looking all adorable and 2—keep that straight face? I am telling, Clare, you have found yourself a real piece of _man_."

"So where were you hiding, Alli?"

"Behind Morty," she put air quotes around "Morty". "You'll get him next time. After school, don't even go to your locker. Just get in his car."

"Why and how am I going to do that? And what about my books?"

Alli bit her lip in a smile. "I learned a thing or two from Sav, and that so happens to be how to pick a car door. He'll be so surprised to see you, so just pick up from there! And then make sure he takes you to my house. If you get stuck, just text me, 'kay?" Alli seemed so sure of this, but so far, today had been pretty good.

* * *

**So, this chapter didn't exactly have "lol" moments, haha. this chap actually isn't crucial, but it's kinda like a bridge to the next one.**

**I hope you guys caught the differences between what little things mean to girls and guys XD**

**Toodles!**

**Oh, and to my dear reviewers, you guys have been so sweet! Here are my responses (:**

**-Zeldaskeeper**

** you'll find out(;**

**-Princesakarlita411**

** thank you so much for being a faithful reviewer(: and yes! I'm most definitely excited for that! but... I don't have the channel the episode premiers on, so I hafta wait until the next morning when it's on MTV... Waking up early... -_- But Degrassi's worth it!**

**-Lazerlicious**

** Thanks! :D I hope I can still meet your standards of awesomeness, and I'm so glad you caught the meaning! I was afraid that people wouldn't get it and would just be like... "why would his pants get tighter?" XD**

**-You'reTheMoon**

** Actually, my friend, you're the BOMB. haha thanks(: I'm working on keeping it in character, but using these little thought/input things for the characters makes it easier because you never _really_ know what they're thinking(:**

**-Zeldaskeeper**

** Again! haha nice to see you came back :D Seriously, Degrassi took over my life... haha Not that I really had one.**

**-Kadabrafreak890**

** thank you vury much!**

**-Queen of Caspian's Heart**

** Why thank you! Cute username :3**

**-ninjacat5**

** I shall! thankee!**

**-ILoveEliGoldsworthy**

** Thank youu! It's so nice to see you and others come back to this haha**

**-StaceyLuvsHim**

** I'll keep writing as long as I keep getting reviews haha (: And yes! Elare forever! (I know it's "eclare" but i don't think it's fair that Eli only gets one letter in the couple name XD)**

**So... That's the chapter(: I'll update soon**

**tweet me, loves! tralalaXTINA :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hola, people! Got this chapter done(: I just re-read the previous chapter, and I'm sorry that my story is kind of slow paced, but I wanted to squeeze in as many moments as I can without making it too long. So... Enjoy? I think I'll do the review thing up here.**

**-Princesakarlita411**

**thanks so much! I get so happy when I see that you reviewed haha You've been so nice and faithful. So in answer to your question, yes, I do live in the states. I wish I didn't though. Call me crazy, but I'm like obsessive about Degrassi and have been trying to convince my mom to move to Canada so I can audition. Haha Imagine? The cast would probably hate me because I'd keep calling them by their character names XD**

**-Lazerlicious**

**Oh my goodness, you make me smile. Haha There's just something about your reviews that makes me actually feel like you're genuinely excited haha, so thank you! I love how you understand those little "sexually frustrated" moments XD**

**-zeldaskeeper**

**Ah, another of my faithfuls! I hope you got my reply to your comment, but if not, then... I've been hinting at her secret, but I haven't given it out yet, so no. (:**

**-kadabrafreak890**

**awesome to see you again! I figured I'd demonstrate the effect friends can have on you with the Sexy Clare thing. Haha I'm actually kinda glad that you don't get it yet(: I have this habit of just blurting everything out at once, leaving me with no mystery.**

**-Anniexskye**

**thanks! you're so sweet(: I LOVE Mean Girls! haha Do you know how long it took me to realize that Amanda Seyfriend was in that movie? -_-* And yes, that is how say "please" in Spanish haha x3**

**-soothing star**

**thank you! I've been writing a LOT lately. I have no life, and Summer 2010 isn't as amazing as everyone built it up to be. haha fail.**

**-HowistheDRAMAQUEEN**

**oh, gosh, thank you! like, really! haha that's one of the best compliment I've gotten(:**

* * *

**Eli**

Finally, the day was over and I had the chance to think things over. Though I didn't exactly want to bump into Clare, I was hoping to see her before I left. She's gotten so confusing. I didn't find her, but I assumed that it was for the best. Reaching Morty, I was finally able to relax.

"What is wrong with you, Eli?" I shouted to myself, pounding the wheel. "She's in your head, and now you can't do anything right!"

"I'm in your head now, am I?"

I froze instantly. She was in my car. I was talking to myself. _Smooth…_ Turning my head oh so slowly, my eyes met with Clare's. She carefully raised a brow and smirked. _Is she mocking me? Is this how she feels when I do that?_ "So," she began, moving closer to me. "We were having such a nice conversation earlier." She reached into her bag and brought out a tube of lip gloss. Luckily, I was tight lipped, so my jaw didn't drop when all I could do was watch as she tilted her head back, parted her lips, and coated her perfect lips.

_Get a hold of yourself. Focus. _"So, hoping to follow me home?" I managed to ask. Luck was with me because I was able to keep my tone unfazed. She just paused, replaced her gloss, and reached for my bicep. "All I wanted was a little quality time, Eli. We didn't have English together today." My gaze followed each of her motions. She knew how much she was affecting me.

"Ah, there's your separation anxiety again, dear."

She crossed her arms like the Clare I knew and pouted before replacing her grip on my arm. "So are we going to sit in the parking lot all day, or are you gonna start the car?" I nodded and put my focus on driving. From the corner of my eye, I could see Clare's delicate movements. "You know, this is the first time you've actually taken me for a ride in your car? I mean, all we do is sit in it when we don't feel like going to English."

"Speaking of English," I said, stopping for the light, "Where were you?"

"And _I'm_ the one with the separation anxiety?" She had me there. I hated every second without her. I wanted to tell her, but… I don't know. _You're just looking for excuses that aren't there. _"So where to?" I asked.

"Alli's house," she said. She looked confused. _At least I know where she'll be tonight. Wow, I sound like a stalker._

**

* * *

**

**Clare**

_Alli said that this would work. Why isn't it working? He looks completely normal! Maybe it only works when the person is pretty, and let's face it. I'm not exactly Miss Canada…Should I keep trying?_ "You can just stop right here. I'll walk the rest of the way," I said. I was trying to stop myself from crying. I felt like such an idiot for even trying this, and obviously he's not interested. I felt so shameless—throwing myself at someone who wasn't even attracted to me.

"How far is it?"

"It's only five blocks," I said. My voice cracked on the last word. Honestly, I wanted to go home, but Alli would want to know what happened.

"Five blocks?" He sounded puzzled. "I'm not letting you walk five blocks alone, Clare."

"Yeah? And why not?" I hadn't really meant what I just said; it was more like an automated response, but now that it was out, I wanted to hear his answer.

"It's not gentlemanly," he said quietly. I smile came back on my face. He was just too cute. "And since when were you a gentleman?"

Eli smiled. I think he picked up on my changed mood. He grabbed his chest as if he were having a heart attack, "Ouch! Clare Edwards, after all I've done for you…"

"All you've done?" I repeated. "We've barely done anything! The most you've done is making me scream in public and run over my glasses."

"But I made up for it! I said you have pretty eyes! Now can you please get back in the car?"

I agreed, but it was uncomfortable. There was an itchy silence looming over us. There was nothing left to say now that my mood was somewhat killed. I heard a sudden clicking sound from my door. Nothing looked different, so I ignored it. After a few minutes, we were at Alli's. I tried opening my door, but it was stuck. Eli parked the car rather than keeping it running and got out. He came to my side and opened the door for me. He turned his hand to that his palm was facing up.

I took his hand, and he helped me up. I adjusted myself and smiled at him. It was probably one of my stupid looking ones that I got when I didn't know how to react. Being with Eli was probably the only real thing I had in life. Sometimes it was so simple—he was there, and I was there. I made him laugh, and he definitely made me laugh. "Thank you," I said. "You, sir, are quite the gentleman," I told him as I let go of his hand. He took my arm and locked it with his bringing me to the door.

"Now what kind of gentleman would I be if I let my lady show up at the door alone?"

"Your lady?" I laughed. _I could live with this title._ "Well now I don't know what to call you, because it would just break the mood if I called you my man."

"I don't mind," he smirked and climbed back into Morty, leaving me smiling dumbly when Alli came to the door. Eli and I exchanged one last smile before he drove off. I guess he proved me wrong about his gentlemanliness.

Sav was standing behind Alli, and he looked at me sort of strangely. "Um…" he said. I raised a brow at him, not understanding what "Um" was supposed to mean. "You look nice, Clare." He went upstairs, scratching the back of his head, muttering something to himself. Alli's look followed him upstairs. When she looked back at me, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's weird. But tell me what happened!" She dragged me upstairs again.

"So he just sat there? He didn't even _sweat_?"

"Yeah, I guess," I said. I was still really upset. I felt really bad about how today had gone. _Do I owe him an apology? Are things going to be weird with us now? I probably _killed_ my chances of him asking me to the dance._

"So what do I do? I feel like I messed up big time."

"You didn't mess up anything! Your only mistake was falling for that guy. He's so hard to break. Besides, what you did looked fine to me. SAV!" Alli said everything in such a rush that I didn't understand her sudden call for her brother.

Sav came rushing in to see what the problem was. "Okay, so Clare did all the huge flirting signs…" _Oh, gosh… I cannot believe she's actually telling him this. _If Sav wasn't like a brother to me, this would be awkward. "… and now she doesn't know if she messed up or anything."

Sav sat on Alli's bed, pondering something. "Sounds like you did everything right to me. I'd ask you to do the walk thing to see for myself, but that's kind of pedophile-ish."

"No worries," Alli said, pushing me forward. "Clare, show him."

I gasped, looking from Alli to Sav and back. _There is no way in _hell _I'm gonna do that. That draws the line. It's too weird! How can they be okay with this?_ "Clare, you said it yourself. Sav's like a brother to you… Please?"

Sav straightened up a little. "Really? Thanks," he smiled. "So as your older brother, I command you to walk the walk." He was using his Presidential voice on me.

"I have an older sibling, and she doesn't _command_ me to do anything." I couldn't help but laugh at his attempt to fool me.

"This should work," Alli said, putting one of her large purses over Sav's head. "Now _walk_." Sav took the bag off and walked over to Alli's window seat. "How am I supposed to tell if she did it right if I can't see anything?" He looked out the window and said something about an ugly car outside. Alli went through more possible solutions in her head as I just waited for an answer. I noticed Sav's eyes kind of widen and he whispered something to Alli. Suddenly, the door bell rang.

I looked to Sav and Alli to see if either of them were going to answer it. "Listen, Clare, you've been a member of this family for a while now, but we've been cutting you a lot of slack. You're the youngest, so you get the door," Alli explained. I didn't mind answering at all, but it was weird that she had some explanation planned out like that.

I opened the door, but no one was there. It was too dark to see if anyone was running away, so I stepped out onto the steps, taking a look around. I noticed something at my feet. It was a large block of ice with something inside it. Beside it was a hammer with a tag attached to the handle. Since the tag had my name on it, I took up the hammer and gave the ice a little tap. Nothing happened. I kept tapping it until it cracked and crumbled.

Once I got to the middle of the block, I was able to make out what was inside. It was a square covered in duct tape. I picked it up, and underneath it were a few daisies. I picked them up too and stood up, smiling.

**

* * *

**

**Eli**

I stepped out from behind Morty and met Clare on the Bhandari steps. "So now that we've broken the ice, I was wondering if you'd go with me to the dance?" Clare looked up from her flowers and hugged me. Her touch warmed me and everything felt right. "Okay," she whispered in my ear. "But I get to keep the hammer." I smiled as my hold on her fell to her waist. With her arms locked around my neck, we were in the perfect position. She lifted herself on her toes and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you," she said as she untangled herself. "I can't wait."

**

* * *

**

**Clare**

I turned my head before walking inside and gave a little wave with my free fingers. Today hadn't been so terrible after all. Eli's skin was so smooth—like ivory, and his voice… Oh, his voice. It just made me want to melt. It reminded me of something so nostalgic, yet so mundane, something like, pulling out a library book from its shelf. That's how he made me feel too. He had something over me. He could pull me out of my shell and I'd be perfectly fine.

I was still smiling by the time I got to Alli's room. She and Sav were giving me approving looks. "Nice," Sav said as he passed me, leaving the room. I closed the door behind him and readied myself for what was surely going to be a scream. And it was.

"Oh my God!" Alli kept repeating, walking in circles. "That was so cute!" Obviously, she and Sav were watching from the window. "I had no idea it was going to be like this! I take everything back, I swear!"

"Take what back, exactly?" I asked.

"All those terrible things I was thinking when you told me it didn't work. Well… apparently it did!" I wanted to be even a little upset at that, but I couldn't stop smiling. While Alli went to put my daisies in a vase, I started unwrapping the duct tape square. It was a black CD case. The disk inside looked plain, like the ones you would use to copy something on to. I put it into Alli's player and listened. At first, there was a little crackling sound, but then Eli's voice came on. It was so light and gentle, like a first snow. There was so much to learn about him.

"Hey, Clare. The song may surprise you, but this is one of my favorite bands, and these are two of my favorite songs. I hope you like it."

The crackling sound came on, and a whimsical tune started out, followed by a male singing.

"_Can we sail to Spain?  
Just me and you  
Open ocean and the bright blue sky above  
Well do you want, do you want the moon?  
I'll get it for you.."_

__

From the top so high, to the valley low  
I wanna give you whatever you need, so just let me know  
Cause all I want is more of you

All I want is you

"Give me a dance," she says  
"Just take my hand," she says  
I don't want anything  
Let's make a getaway  
Just me and you, babe  
The rest of the world can wait  
Cause I've been waiting for you, oh  
I've been waiting for you, oh

With the world we know waiting on hold  
Do you think that we can really just be alone?  
Far from all that seems to keep us apart

I need you, so don't leave yet  
Find a way to stay even if just for a moment  
Cause all I need is more of you

All I want is you

"Give me a dance," she says  
"Just take my hand," she says  
I don't want anything  
Let's make a getaway  
Just me and you, babe  
The rest of the world can wait  
Cause I've been waiting for you, oh  
I've been waiting for you, oh

"Give me a dance," she says  
"Just take my hand," she says  
I don't want anything  
Let's make a getaway  
Just me and you, babe  
The rest of the world can wait  
Cause I've been waiting for you  
I've been waiting for you

"Give me a dance," she says  
"Just take my hand," she says  
I don't want anything  
Let's make a getaway  
Just me and you, babe  
The rest of the world can wait  
Cause I've been waiting for you, oh

_I've been waiting for you, waiting for you  
Been waiting for you_"

The singer sounded oddly familiar. I had a fresh feeling in my stomach, and I couldn't help but smile. I knew that voice from somewhere. It was in the back of my head, but somehow I couldn't reach it. I subconsciously stretched out my hand as if to grasp the distant memory.

"Wow, Clare, you really got yourself a keeper. Eli's a really good singer," Alli said, coming back into the room. _Eli?_ I replayed the track. It was definitely him. How could I not know that? There was no mistake about it. I could practically see him singing it. He was probably in his room, a pair of headphones around his neck, a web mic clipped to his collar. His eyes closed, and he was leaning back into the chair, just relaxing, becoming one with music. Alli and I played the second song, squealing and gossiping about how great the dance would be and how much better the relationship I so hoped for would be.

**

* * *

**

**Eli**

_Nice job,_ I thought. For once, I wasn't being sarcastic with that phrase. _I hope she likes it. It was pretty hard to find the instrumental for that first song. What if I cracked while singing? Oh crap, I forgot to check… I hope I have it backed up on my laptop._

When I got home, I ran to check. It wasn't saved on my computer. The most I could do was ask if she liked it. I signed on. _Please be online, please be online. _But she wasn't. _How am I supposed to wait the whole damn weekend to find out if it turned out okay?_

* * *

**So, the song credit is for one of my favorite bands: Between the Trees. The song is called Spain, and I know I didn't mention the second song, but the one I was thinking about is called Changed By You. Go look it up!**

**So we're learning a lot about Eli. He likes marshmallows, stuffed elephants, knows the names of different articles of clothing- which is close to unheard of for a guy- and he doesn't just listen to rock and metal(: What a sweetie pie! haha (in case you didn't notice, I collected those from all my previous chapters)**

**So yeah. I'll update soon. Possibly tomorrow or the day after. Ta ta for now!**

**Tweet me at tralalaXTINA**

**and leave some reviews! Flames or loveee**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, so I know it's been a while... Sorry :/ Haha It's been so lonely without writing! GAH. Okay, so here it is. Honestly, not much, but I'm setting the stage for something. So yeah. REVIEWERS. Oh, how I love youx3**

**-Princesakarlita411**

**ohmygosh. I love you. XD And can you believe that my mom is actually considering letting me move? One of her best friends lives in Toronto! *squeal* awesomeness(: Anywayyy, weren't the episodes amazing? :D**

**-Queen of Caspian's Heart**

**They're quite lovely(: haha and thanks! sometimes, I just wanna give Munro Chambers a hug. Well... more like all the time :3**

**-HowistheDRAMAQUEEN**

**aw, that's cute! haha thanks! (:**

**-zeldaskeeper**

**me too! GAH. boys these days...anywayyy, someone on Yahoo sent me this video of Munro singing, and he wasn't that bad! I wish I still had it, but if I find it again, I'll put it on my profile(:**

**-Lazerlicious**

**Thank you! I look forward to reading your review every time XD Sorry for the late update though :/**

**WARNING: things get a little dark in this chapter. Just saying. Moo.**

* * *

**Clare**

"Two more weeks until the big dance," Sav announced. "Better find yourself a date if you haven't already." Eli turned and smiled at me. We hadn't ditched in a while- Ms. Dawes was getting suspicious of our random absences, so we gave it a rest. Things were great between us. We learned to hang out after school rather then during, and we finally exchanged phone numbers. The rest of that day was pretty boring. I faded in and out, trying not to fall asleep. It was a good thing I taught myself to listen while I was half asleep. I think I learned better that way, actually.

_It's amazing how I can easily I can switch moods,_ I thought as I walked through my door, dropping the smile I had left over from spending time with Eli. Life at school was a stark contrast from life at home. No one was home… Again. Dad took off a while ago, and Mom was like me during school—in and out. Everything fell apart so quickly, and I had nothing to hold on to. The pictures on the walls were taken down, and Dad took some of our décor with him. I went to the kitchen and was met with a big, white envelope. _Yup, Mom's gone._ She always left some money when she left. A note was scribbled on the back of the envelope. Apparently, Mom was at her sister's house in the States for a few days.

I had a little over a hundred dollars to last for who knew how long. The fridge was pretty much empty, but I wasn't in the mood to eat or do anything, really. Upstairs, I plopped down on my bed, hugging a pillow. Right in front of me was a picture of Darcy and me. She looked so beautiful, especially when she stood next to me. She wore skinny jeans and a white lace top. Her smile was so bright, while mine—well, you couldn't really tell I was smiling, but I was. It was a shy, Mona Lisa-esque smile. I was in my uniform with my hair up, and my glasses were slightly tilted as Darcy had me crushed in a hug against her side. Oh, those glasses.

There was always something about them, so familiar, that I loved. I've had them since I was in first grade. I hated them for reminding me that I didn't have vision like Darcy. "Like Darcy" is how I always wanted to be. Yet, at the same time, I loved them because it's like they were a part of me. Of course the glasses that I had as a first grader and the glasses I had as a freshman were different sizes, but they were still exactly the same. Now, I loved them even more because of Eli. _He ran over them_, I smiled to myself. _KC had me at, "hello,"; you had me at "I think they're dead."_ _You're so weirdly charming._

I rummaged through the drawer by my bed and pulled out a lighter—the same lighter that I confiscated from Adam. Something in me changed that day. If Adam kept burning himself, then it had to work, right? I tested it a while ago, and it does. Slowly, I pulled down the waist of my jeans, heated Adam's—or Gracie's—hair clip and pressed it against my hip. My breath hitched, my fist tightened. My face contorted in a peculiar way, and yet, I didn't want to stop.

I stared at the picture of me and Darcy again. "I thought I could be different," I said to it. "But I'm not. _Life_ is different. Of course, I can't be as good as you. You almost went all the way and killed yourself. I'm not as brave as you, Darcy, not at all."

Once I was feeling better, I changed into house clothes and crawled under the sheets. With my face pressed against the pillows, I felt pathetic and alone. It was almost like I was waiting for something to happen, like for the world to stop spinning.

At school the next day, Alli noticed the weird way I walked. I couldn't wear jeans because the denim irritated my burns, so I settled for a skirt.

"Clare," she said softly, knowing what I did. "Please?" I know she wanted me to stop, but no one knew what was going on. I wasn't strong enough to handle everything.

"Trust me, if I could, I would."

Alli looked at me like a Mom would at a naughty toddler. "Does he know yet?"

"Eli? Not yet. I'm gonna tell him soon though. I hate keeping this from him."

**

* * *

Eli**

_Clare's walking sort of awkwardly today. I wonder if she's hurt._ I rubbed my chin, watching her converse with Alli. They always seemed to be having intense conversations when Clare was acting differently. _What are they talking about? Is Clare going to tell me?_ If it was something personal, then I could understand, but I wanted Clare to be able to trust me.

At third period, I tried to focus on math, but all the numbers seemed to read "Clare". I was starting to wonder if I was dyslexic. Everything about her drove me crazy, and I couldn't get her off my mind. After everything that's happened to me, Clare gave me a different outlook on life. She was so warm, and instead of annoying me like happy girls tend to do, she changed me.

"Alright, class, please hand in your work on your way out," the teacher said. I looked at my nonexistent work. "Awesome," I muttered to myself. Clare was a beautiful paradox. She had me so confused, I never knew how to act around her, and I couldn't concentrate on anything. She haunted my dreams and seemed to be around every corner, either that, or I was just actively seeking her out. Clare made everything so perplexing, yet at the same time, made it all make sense. Nothing needed reason when I had Clare. She was my reason. I put my paper in the basket on the way out, planning to sneak back in later to re-do it.

I nearly sprinted to English, but Clare stopped me. She was leaning against a locker, looking thoughtful. Everyone was in their classes and it seemed to be only us in the halls. I slowed my pace and walked up to her.

"Hey there," I said when I was in front of her. She looked startled, but peered up at me and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Hi," she said, looking down again. I put my hands against the lockers on either side of her head. "You have that thinking face on," I said. Only a few inches separated our lips. So small a distance, but it's never been crossed with us. I wanted so much to just lean in and kiss her, but she looked lost.

"We should talk," she said, looking up again. _Now isn't the time for talking,_ I said to myself. _Clare's got you so corny, Eli._ It was almost like I willed her to do my bidding because what happened next was unbelievable. She reached up and kissed me. It was so soft, so passionate. She tasted like vanilla.

Another thing about Clare Edwards is that she always left me speechless. I found myself describing everything about her with uncompleted terms. There was something—see?—about that kiss that was wonderfully insane. Things were so right with us, so good. Even if it was small kiss, it was everything that I would ever need- simplicity, and yet so much more.

"Thank you for being Eli," she whispered. _There she goes again, confusing me._

"D'you want to get out of here?" I asked her, still smiling. _Who knows where this can go?_

**

* * *

Clare**

_Wow_, I said to myself over, and over again. I did it; I actually kissed Elijah Goldsworthy. Everything about him was condensed into one, tiny kiss. It wasn't like those rinky dink, cliché kisses that you read about or see on TV. My leg didn't pop, he didn't grab my chin, I didn't snake my arms around his neck. Everything about his kiss screamed "Eli". His lips were chapped, his kiss was warm, and he was so passionate. He was gentle, but powerful. The only thing similar to the kisses that you hear about was that he left me utterly lightheaded. My head was swimming, and I wanted to laugh, but even more, to feel his lips on me again. I could only nod when he asked if I wanted to ditch.

How a kiss got us here, I still don't know, but what happens, happens.

"Eli, can you hurry up and get it in?" I pleaded. I winced in pain. Eli looked distraught, "Am I hurting you? I'm so sorry, I don't trust myself anymore…" He bit his lip in concentration. I leaned over and kissed the top of his head. "It's okay. This has to work, and besides, it's a good kind of pain." I lied about the last part, but he probably already knew that. "Wait. What if the people at school find out what we did? I'm not going to be St. Clare anymore!"

"You care too much about what people think." Eli pushed a little harder, but he was still very gentle with me.

"Somehow, I got the idea that this would be romantic," I frowned. "How are we going to make this work if we can't even do _this_ right?"

"Oh, so suddenly there's an 'us'?" Eli smirked.

"Of course! Do you think I'd do this with just anyone? Now try again."

He pulled and pushed, twisted and turned, but no matter how hard we tried, he couldn't get my foot inside the shoe. "I really like this one too," I pouted. "I hate my feet."

"Really? I think they're quite darling," Eli said. He smiled and helped me up. "I've had a lot of firsts with you, Clare. First English partner, first time I skipped school to do work, first time skipping to go to a shoe store…" He rocked on his heels. I took his arm, "Well, I didn't know it bothered you so much."

"Not at all, m'dear," He said and led me back to Morty.

So much for finding shoes for the upcoming dance... This was supposed to be my Cinderella moment. My prince was supposed to slip a pretty shoe onto my foot and take me away. However, reality had to ruin everything. My feet were weird, and I was always bothered by the thought of someone finding out that I skipped class.

**

* * *

Eli**

She held my hand the whole drive back to Degrassi, how could I _not_ smile? I didn't expect things to be so easy with us. At the last light before we reached the school, I turned to look at her. She was asleep, but she had a focused look on her face. I wasn't sure about letting her leave just yet. _What is she dreaming about?_ Her head lolled to one side, and her face was suddenly peaceful again. She sighed, and I saw movement under her eyelids, and suddenly, they fluttered open.

"I had a feeling someone was watching me," she said.

"I don't feel like going back," I said. "We could do something else? Like talk? You didn't exactly tell me what you wanted to say earlier."

"Earlier?" she asked, stalling.

"Yeah," I said, playing along. "Right before you did this," I leaned in and kissed her again. I loved having that freedom. "You know what? Screw tradition; I like when the girl takes the lead." I smirked, watching as she crinkled her nose cutely.

"I don't like to wait around, but I like having someone to depend on." Clare crossed her arms and looked at me from the corner of her eye.

"So does this mean I get to wear the pants in this relationship?" She nodded and kissed my cheek. "I like your pants," she said, making the both of us laugh.

I helped her out of the car and led her to a wooded area by the school. I've been there with Adam many times. We'd normally just sit by the stream and talk about music, girls, and other mundane thing, but with Clare, we could talk about anything from caterpillars to waterfalls.

We sat where Adam and I normally would, but neither of us said anything. _I hope she doesn't feel like I'm pushing her to talk…_We just sat there for a few minutes. Talking didn't really matter because just being with each other was nice, though knowing what she wanted to tell me earlier would've been good too.

"I love Degrassi," Clare sighed, looking at the clouds.

"What?" I was shocked. With all the drama going on there, I was sure that Clare would want to be back in her private Christian school.

"Yeah," she said, and then looked at me. "It feels like home. You walk in, and there are some people that you like, and others that you don't—like siblings. Mr. Simpson and Mrs. H are like the parents." She looked so relaxed, and I could tell that she meant every word. If she thought so highly of school, it made me wonder what was really going on at home.

"They're separated, you know," Clare said. Tears started to fill her eyes. "Dad just left one day, and I didn't even get to say goodbye."

I didn't even know what to say. I couldn't say that it was going to be okay or that it's alright because the truth was that nothing was certain. I just held her. Her head was tucked under my chin and her body trembled in sobs. I wish there was something I could do to stop the pain she was feeling. It hurt to see her like this and to feel like I was useless in her situation.

"Then Mom just left for a little while. I know she'll be back, but now I'm just alone. This is all my fault." Her tears rolled off my blazer and onto the grass. _This must be what she wanted to tell me before…_I lifted her chin so that she'd look at me. I brushed her tears away with my thumb and smoothed her hair. "Hold on," I said gently. "This is not your fault. It isn't your mistake that your parents couldn't work it out. I know I can't help much, but I'll be here for you. You can stay with me." _Wow, Eli. You go from blaming her parents to inviting her to live with you. What a great person you are._

She sniffled a little, but the tears returned. "It_ is_ my fault! They had the perfect life with my perfect sister, but then I came along and ruined everything. It makes sense; after Darcy left for Kenya, they started fighting. It's because they only had me." I put the pieces together and assumed that Darcy was her older sister. I've heard people talk about her in the halls. They say she was nice, but she changed after she was raped. I sympathized with Clare. I thought everything was perfect, but she kept that image to hide the cracks in her family. She was so strong. She smiled and made things better for others when she had every right to break down and cry like this all the time.

"Clare, I know you think that Darcy was perfect, but she isn't. No one is, but I think you come pretty close." I offered her a smile and kissed her nose. She smiled through her tears, showing just how tough she was. "What could possibly be wrong with you?" I asked.

Her face suddenly became sullen, and her eyes glazed over. Her grip became limp and she looked sick. I held her even tighter and told her everything I liked about her. I pulled something out of my pocket and gave it to her. "I wanted to write you a letter and tell you how amazing you are, but I couldn't make it exactly right. So I just wrote down some of what I liked about you. Clare Edwards, you are one extraordinary girl."

She unfolded the paper and I instantly felt ashamed of my penmanship.

"I like your hair and your pretty eyes,

I like how I ran over your glasses and you didn't scream,

I like how I can talk to you about everything,

I like how smart you are,

I like that little freckle you have just over your shoulder,

I like how I randomly found you sitting in my car,

I like the way you write,

I like the way you say my name,

I like how your hair looks after a wind storm even though you really don't.

I like your face,

I like when you wear that cute denim jumper,

I like the cute way you get annoyed,

I like the spark I get whenever we touch,

I really like your thumbs,

I like how you make sandwiches and how you eat them,

I like the way you look at me when you don't think I'm looking,

I like absolutely everything about you,

Clare,

I like you."

She folded it back up and stared at it. "Um, it's not exactly finished yet. And I didn't intend on you reading it, so it's just kind of rough. But I felt like you needed it." She smiled and kissed my cheek. "I really like my thumbs too," she said. "Oh, and I like you too." She smiled widely at me, putting the paper in her bag.

"You make me so happy, Eli."

"I like how I make you happy and how you make me feel. And I like your pants," I said. Clare just nuzzled her head back under my chin. "Is that all?" I asked. I felt her body stiffen, and she brushed her face against my shirt. I heard her murmur an "Mhm." I didn't believe her, but she looked tired.

* * *

**mkay! so that's it for now. The next chapter will be... interesting. that's all I can say for now mwahaha**

**btw, I'm sorry if some parts got a little weird... I write off of experiences mostly, but I've never had a bf TT-TT**

**I'M NOT UGLY, I SWEAR. but all my guy friends become best friends, and they're afraid to ask me out, yadda yadda yadda. FML. haha**

**tweet me at tralalaXTINA :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**ohmytree, it's been forever! I'm super duper sorry! D: So much chaos going on... -_- Anyway, I promise you, that as soon as this chapter is uploaded, I'll work on chapter 9. DX**

**reviews!**

**-zeldaskeeper**

**! her inner torment got the best of her! Wahhh! XD haha**

**-Lazerlicious**

**oh thaaanks! haha Being quoted makes me feel famous XD**

**-WhiteTwitch**

**cute username :3 haha your review made me laugh~~ sorry to disappoint?**

**-eclare luv**

**sorry it wasn't "asap", but chapter 9 will be!**

**-Princessakarlita411**

**thanks! and it is! haha and I never really thought of it to be warm there... hm... But still, anywhere's better than here! :D**

**-slack2011**

**sorry! D: haha my best friend's last name is "slack" XD**

**-Queen of Caspian's Heart**

**she apologizes profusely!**

**-kadabrafreak890**

**indeed, indeed. And thanks! :D**

**-krystal**

**thanks! and I will for sure! I already have a few stories planned out. I'd love to be your friend! :D I love friends haha I'd give anyone my facebook if the private messaged me for it... you know... as long as they don't plan to internet stalk me... or literal stalk me O.o**

**-babyspongy**

**thanks! your username reminds me of finding nemo :3

* * *

**

**Clare**

_Home alone again… I wonder what Mom and Dad are doing. _I pulled the covers from over my head and enjoyed the slight breeze wafting in from the window. The cool air calmed my mind and tickled my nose and lips. Smiling, I brought my fingers to my mouth, remembering my day spent with Eli. Sharing a kiss with him was like being kissed for the first time. The emotion was so strong that I felt it with every part of me. The way that Eli made me feel was something almost dreamlike. Turning my palms upward, it was like I was holding his emotions in my hand. So light they were, and yet, they were strong enough to keep me feeling safe through the night. _Is this what it's like to be in love?_

_This feeling… It's so new to me, but it feels like it's been this way all along, like we're _supposed _to be._ KC was the first person that I really wanted to be with; Declan came next, but they could never compare to Eli. I found KC alluring, and Declan mysterious, but there was nothing deep about either of them. All to be found was right there on the surface. Eli was both alluring and mysterious, but there was so much more to him. Instead, _I_ felt wanted this time, _I_ felt alluring. I felt a certain power to be wanted like this, yet so weak for not knowing what to do.

My hand drifted toward my hip. _Eli, if you knew, would you fix me? I'm all torn up inside, and it's starting to look that way on the outside too. Please…don't leave me. Take me as I am?_ The thoughts in my head seemed to be suffocating. So many things going on at once, my head started to throb. I snuggled back under the covers, tucking myself into a ball. _I feel like I should have told you today, but that would mean telling you everything—Mom and Dad, even Darcy. I feel so selfish for dumping all of this on you._ I wondered where Eli was and thought how I could possibly explain what I've been doing with myself. On one side, I could almost feel him pulling me into a tight hug. He would pat my hair and kiss away my tears and help me through everything. The other possibility made my stomach close in, making me want to wretch. He could see me for the human wreckage that I was and leave me. Feeling so unsure about things made my fingers itch to reach for the lighter, but if my first thought was right, there was no sense in hurting myself any longer. _Tomorrow, I'll explain everything after school._

**

* * *

Eli**

"Hey, kid, need a hit?" a guy asked, pulling something out of his coat pocket. He opened his hand to a sandwich bag folded over itself. Inside was white powder. There was a faint odor on his gloves that burned my nose. I looked from his hand, to his eyes. They were filled with greed and desperation.

"Nah, I'm good," I finally said, continuing on my way. I brushed the sweat off my forehead and made it home. Once in my room, I could breathe easily again. _Oh, Toronto, how you deceive us with your innocent looking towns,_ I thought dramatically. I dropped onto my bed, too lazy to change, and closed my eyes. In the darkness behind my lids, I could still see Clare, smiling shyly at me after our first kiss. A smile grazed my lips, and suddenly, I felt the need to be around her, to hold her and to breathe in her scent, to watch her be and to protect her from any wrongs in the world. She was so perfect. I couldn't understand how I deserved her in any way. Maybe she was just God's gift to me, or a way of reminding me just how awful I was. I put my hands behind my head, grateful that I could have something as wonderful as love without any strings attached.

**

* * *

Clare**

Waking up smiling was definitely a first. The hours practically flew by. I was caught up in my thoughts for hours, but to me, it felt like seconds. "Hey, Clare," I heard as I made my way to English. I almost fooled myself into thinking that it was Eli, but the face I was met with could never be confused with his. "Aren't you going to say hello?" Fitz asked. He inched closer to me, keeping me near the wall. I tried to brush past him, but he grabbed a hold of my jumper strap.

"This looks pretty cute on you," he said, looking me up and down. _Well… this is odd._

"Can I go now?" I could see the classroom from where Fitz had me pinned. I strained my neck, hoping that somehow I could slip away. He looked from left to right, and ducked into a janitor's closet, bringing me with him.

"Look, I'm not very good with this, so just… Be patient, okay?"

"I don't _want_ to be patient, Fitz. I don't even want to be here. I'm going now," I said. I reached for the door, but it was blocked by his foot. I could feel my face getting red with anger. "Please let me out," I said, trying not to yell.

"Not until you hear me out." He sounded so authoritative, final. I turned to look at him and felt a mini heart attack coming on from the way he was looking at me. I never noticed, but his eyes were actually quite gentle looking, but the look _in_ his eyes was frantic, confused.

He ran his thumb and forefinger over a nonexistent goatee. "So, you going to the dance?"

"Excuse me?" I asked. Then it registered. "Are you… Are you trying to ask me to the dance?" He looked away, wiped his face, and looked back. "Yeah; I need a date, you're pretty cute, and so I thought 'Why not?'."

_Eye contact. Don't make eye contact. _I felt myself blush. I don't know why, but I did. I tried not to look him in the eyes, so I was stuck staring at his chest. Something in the back of my head wondered if it was as solid as it looked. _Stop it, Clare. Hormones._

"Why?" After watching _Carrie_, I learned to be careful with things like this.

"Didn't I just tell you? I need a date, you're cute, so let's go."

He made it sound so easy. Easy sounded appealing. I sounded insane for considering even when I had a date. "Oh, well, um—"

"What are you kids doing in here?"

Both our heads snapped up. Janitor. "Sorry, uh, we were just going," I rushed, pushing him aside to get out. Fitz followed suit, and of course, Eli was right there, making his way to class. The sight of the two of us coming out of a janitor's closet must have been a sight. Leftover panic in my eyes, the jumper strap loosened by Fitz's grip…

In an instant, Eli was at my side, a possessive hold on my waist. All at once, I was bombarded with thoughts. Eli must have been thinking a lot of something since he and Fitz were engaged in a stare down; and I must have been sweating up a storm, as I was nervous about how close Eli's hand was to my burns. I shifted my weight awkwardly, hoping the floor would swallow me and my entire existence.

After what felt like a lifetime of waiting, Eli was pushing me along gently to class. I suspect he was looking back at Fitz, a look of superiority evident on his features. "What happened back there?"

The bell rang as soon as we stepped through the door. Ms. Dawes had her back turned, so we slipped quietly into our seats. "Long story," I said. Adam looked at us curiously. I had no desire to repeat what had happened. I felt dizzy and sick. To think that I was almost _attracted_ to Fitz only seconds before my almost boyfriend caught us sneaking out of a closet was almost too much to bear.

I put my head on my desk and waited for Ms. Dawes to make the roll call. A tiny piece of paper landed in front of me. "After school?" said the small, red letters.

**

* * *

Eli**

Fitz was really pushing it. If social boundaries were the Korean border, he'd have been dead a long time ago. Every part of me wanted to rip him to shreds, cut off his manhood, anything to make him suffer. Clare was _my_ girl, and I wanted the school—the world—to know that. Seeing the fear in her eyes made my blood run cold. Something took over me like an instinct. My heart sank, thinking of the possibilities of what could have happened.

The note was dropped back over my shoulder. "Sure" it read in perfect script.

"Now," Ms. Dawes began, turning around. "Emotion. Emotion is something hard to convey through writing. You might mean something one way, but the reader might misinterpret it as something else. That's why imagery is nice, descriptions, kids." She went on to say that our assignment was to write anything based of a feeling. "A hunch, annoyance, love…" she trailed, clapping her hands together.

My back straightened up at the last one. My mouth turned upwards in a small smile. I looked over my shoulder, hoping to see Clare smiling too. She wasn't. She wasn't even paying attention. I traced her focus to the clock. That look on her face… Almost like she was waiting for something- or dreading. Just seeing her like that brought me down a few octaves. Worrying about her made the day lag. I needed to know that she was okay.

After verbally wrestling with Adam, I made my way over to the forest where Clare and I had our first intense discussion. She was already there, sitting by the stream. Her back was uncharacteristically hunched over. I'd never seen her look so down, hopeless almost. "Hey," I said, kneeling beside her. I put my arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "What's going on? Talk to me."

She stopped her tears before they fell, "I don't know if I can just say it."

"I'll understand if you're not ready," I said. I sat next to her, pulling her into my lap. I hushed her, smoothing her hair over and over, putting kisses on her neck. We fit so perfectly together, it was almost unreal.

"I'm ready," she said. "But saying it is… I just can't." She reached for the hem of her shirt to wipe her face, I assumed. It was then that I noticed that she changed from her jumper to another skirt. Lifting the hem, I saw thick, brown scars pulling across her hip. My chest tightened, and I choked on my words. What was there to say?

"You don't have to stay," she whispered. She sounded so expectant of me to leave. I felt like I had failed her if she didn't have faith in my commitment to her. I wouldn't leave her over something like this. It was then that I felt she needed me most.

"I could never," I told her, rubbing her shoulders. "Just tell me why," I whispered. Talking in a voice any louder would cause me to break. I rested my chin on her shoulder. "Everything. My parents, life in general, Darcy…" The way she spoke her sister's name made her shudder. I suspected there was a story behind this infamous character.

"She—" I assumed "she" meant Darcy, "—used to cut herself. Everything about her changed after she was raped…" My whole face went blank. How much could one person take? She twisted in my lap and hid her face in shirt. "She was my best friend, always so perfect, and then someone just went and messed everything up. Darcy held everything together. After she changed, everything fell apart. And it's all because of that bastard who drugged and raped her."

_Drugged. And then raped. _I repeated. I felt like I was just hit by truck. My eyes widened with each word of her story. My head throbbed, and my eyes stung. "I want to find him and just—just kill him. Nothing's been right because of him." I actually _felt_ Clare's anger. Everyone saw her as this sweet, perky Christian girl, but underneath is this torn up individual. The irony was intense. There was a long pause. I still didn't know what to say. I felt like anything I said would make things worse.

"Did the authorities do anything?" I finally asked. I felt so useless. "No," she said bluntly. She sounded so completely drained. "They don't even know who it was. There were so many people at that party…"

"Party?" Everything about this whole situation—Darcy and the relationship between me and Clare—was so fucked up. I clenched my fist until I felt skin break. She was really killing me.

"Yeah," she said, turning her body sideways, her eyes looking right into mine. "She was at some ski lodge party like last year. She got into a fight with her boyfriend and some creep slipped something into her drink."

"Oh, Clare," I said. "I'm so sorry. This guy deserves to die after what he's done to your family." _He really does._

"Hmph, what family?" she muttered bitterly. "It'll work out," I told her. After hearing everything, I was so tortured. I wanted to say that I'd be there for her, but in doing so, it'd be wrong. I would be wrong. This whole exchange only made me want her more. _Such a sick paradox…_

**

* * *

Clare**

I expected Eli to be more… empathetic, but it was probably a shock to him. _Today was a fail,_ I thought, looking out of Morty's window. Eli offered to drive me home, but neither of us were speaking. The air was heavy. I hoped he wouldn't leave me so soon. I reached for his hand. I held it, but it lay there, almost lifeless. I looked down, ashamed.

_He's staying with me out of pity…My words were all over the place. Nothing made sense; I didn't even explain how everything drove me to this option._ I felt like leaping out the door and throwing myself onto the road. My worst fear, Eli not wanting me, had been realized. It was terrifying how dependant I had become, but even more horrifying how quickly things changed, how cold it was all over again.

I withdrew my hand, placing them both into my lap. I dared look at his face. His jaw was tense, his face stiff with some unknown feeling. I took in every part of him, wanting to remember when he still thought I was perfect. He gripped the wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. I wished with everything that that my touch would relax him like it used to. Before I knew it, Eli was at my door, helping me out. Ever the perfect the gentleman, he walked me to the door. I stood in the open doorway, wanting to invite me in, but I was sure he had better things to do.

_So cold…_I shivered, not knowing what to say. "Thanks," I said timidly. I watched him turn to go, but on an impulse, I threw myself at him. I hugged him tightly, hoping that this was some gruesome joke. I kissed him with all my feelings, never wanting him to leave me. He hugged me back and I almost cried, thinking for a second that it was working. It was like old times for a moment or two. It was so warm, so perfect in his arms. But suddenly, I felt his grip loosen, and I was freezing again. "I should go," he said. _Silly me, _I guessed. _It's K.C. all over again._ I melted into a puddle of self-pity, and yet, I almost fooled myself into thinking that those were tears in his eyes.

* * *

**Ohhhh... Dramaaaaa *dun dun dun* Foreshadowing? hint hint ;D**

**So... this chapter was a little short compared to my previous ones, but you know... that's how I roll babes!**

**OH. And I love you guys for following me on twitter haha I wish I knew exactly which user you were XD**

**tweets! - tralalaXTINA**

**MUNRO CHAMBERS HAS A TWITTER. gosh. I died. haha**


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